So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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