her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
