well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
