sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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