You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I could fuck to npr.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's shark week go big or go home
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
