I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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