What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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