Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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