I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
