She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
