six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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