Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
