My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
