It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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