idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
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We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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