Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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