the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
