At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
