god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
