I haven't been this sober since birth.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize