I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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