Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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