he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
