my shit smells like andre
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
