sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
