when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
