she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
