she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
