Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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