I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
