Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
