we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
