me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Randomize
