my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
