I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Sext me about skeletons
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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