She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
