a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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