Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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