When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
