maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My ATM looks so different sober.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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