Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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