Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
