That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
