Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize