Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
