I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
