He managed to light the Jello on fire...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
