Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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