Where are you?
In a non slutty way
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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