just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
