once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My bed smells like the plague
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