he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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