i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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