is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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