I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm at about main and main street
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
