You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
