Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
jump out the window naked night went bad
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