She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
