I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i drank out of a bidet.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
