i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
