Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Randomize
