I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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