garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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