The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If I die, sorry about rent.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
