Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
FUCK WHALES
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
