i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
What drink are we having for lunch?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
